Three Years of Marital Bliss

This photo was taken on or about the 5th of August in 2002. The young woman in the red pants and red jacket is Epp - then just one of the many fuzzy foreigners in my company in Helsinki - now my wife and the mother of our child.

The clean (well cleaner than New York Harbor) waters of the Gulf of Finland are at play in the distance, and, according to my memory, I most likely was intoxicated by the time I took this photo of what was to become a familiar backside.

As of today - 6/6/06 - the number of the beast - we are officially married for three years. Many marriages don't last that long. For example, Lisa Marie Presley's marriage to Michael Jackson only lasted about 19 months. Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow on the other hand duked it out for a full two years. So we have something to be proud of - a true achievement in today's society!

When we got married, my romantic cousin asked if it meant that I wanted to "spend the rest of my life, forever and ever" with Epp. I have never been comfortable with the idea of the "rest of my life, forever and ever" because I am a bit of a fatalist and I just don't like predicting the future. I enjoy more to go with the flow. But, as of today, it does appear that we are on the road to spending the "rest of our lives, forever and ever" together.

We were married in Tallinn on June 6, and then took a sweaty bus south to Viljandi where we honeymooned (the most unlikely honeymoon spot on Earth). We had a nice south Estonian dinner and retired. The next day we greeted her family and I had to give an embarrasing speech. It was overcast. I still was getting used to having this metal ring on my finger. I always hated rings (or any jewelry, body art etc.) and so it took awhile to get used to. I have to say that I was a bit uncertain about getting married. In all my predictions for the future, marriage had never seemed to manifest itself in my dreams. I didn't know what to expect, I wasn't sure what it meant, I wasn't sure that if I was turned loose in a nightclub in Amsterdam if I'd succumb to adultery and other debacherous acts. I just was not very confident before I took the plunge.

But now, three years, later, it seems to have worked out pretty well. I like being married. In fact, I oddly am enjoying it more each year, which is the opposite of what others describe as a "long meal with dessert at the begining." The hype of marriage is long gone, and again it's just me and my kullake, living together, watching bad movies on the Lifetime network together, and, once in awhile, frequenting NYC comedy clubs together. Two peas in a pod. Two bees in a nest. Two humans in legal bondage :)

And, in a way, I am glad we did it the way we did it. Our wedding had little fanfare - limited planning, the thousands of cousins did not materialize to muster up a bon voyage. Instead, we just got married, and have lived happily since, so much so that, today, when I am on business trips, I actually have trouble sleeping without the warm human being in bed next to me.

A really good marriage necessitates the compliance of two really well-suited people. When I met Epp in Helsinki those four years ago, I knew pretty much immediately that she was creative enough, interesting enough, moody enough, and crazy enough to put up with somebody like me. It felt like I had finally found a partner that could put up with me and vice versa. And it seems that my gut instinct was right.