Recently I was teased by laughing, joking, drinking night game-playing Andrei Petserimaa about my "pinko", "Commie", "lefty" leanings. "Ew," I shuddered to myself, "am I really on the left?"
It indeed seemed gross because these days I don't know where I am on the ideological spectrum. Kriistina Ojuland recently decided to confine "sotsiaalistid-marksistid" to the garbage bin of history. But I don't worship at the altar of St. Milton Friedman, nor have I any use for St. Marx or even St. Thorning-Schmidt. I have no saints. My geopolitical world view has no partisan bedrock.
And it is hard to exactly see where one party begins and the other ends. The current government, with its promises of pension increases and support for the ever popular mother's salary, seems to have borrowed some ideas from the social welfare Shangri-Las across the Baltic Sea. And it isn't it odd that when the government held out an incentive, people started making babies? Could it be that the gospel of liberalism does not apply to procreation?
But left wing? That sounds dirty. Trotsky was charismatic, but "permanent revolution"? It sounds like something Thomas Jefferson might have dreamed up in the sauna high on absinthe. What's a well meaning pinko to do?
In Estonia I tend to subliminally support the Social Democrats, because to me they seem the most normal. Perhaps it has come down to who you'd prefer to sauna with most, just as in the US, they ask themselves "with whom would I like to share a beer?"
Saunaing with Isamaa would be interesting, but after awhile I would get sick of hearing every little detail about the battles of 1944. Enough already with the 1944! Give me some 2008, or 2009 even! Saunaing with Reformierakond seems out of my league. You know that they only have the most expensive saunas, and I don't think I am wealthy enough to use theirs. As for Keskerakond, well, I don't think I could fit into a sauna with Savisaar.
But the Social Democrats? They'd probably have a regular sauna and a mixed one as well. And they'd keep the temperature just right, neither too scalding nor too warm. Given the aforementioned options, I'd have to choose Finance Minister Ivari Padar's sauna. And we could all get together and complain about how bad the second Estonia has it, and how integration is really working, I swear.
Ah, to be among my fellow useful idiots. There would be nothing finer. As for Petserimaa, well, I think he'd be welcome in the Isamaa sauna. They could take a break from discussing Sinimäe and tackle the 1967 war instead.