Did you hear that Madonna is coming to Estonia? She's going to give a performance at the Song Festival Grounds in Tallinn on August 4 as part of her incredibly lame sounding Sticky & Sweet Tour.
How do I know this? Because the event is being hypermarketed in Estonia. The front page of Postimees yesterday was an advertisement promoting the concert. The commentators in all media outlets are weighing in on what Madonna's stop in Estonia means for the country and, most importantly, how it will reflect on the nation's image.
When it comes to high profile visits, Estonians are sort of like the poor country girl from Võrumaa who moved to Tallinn and made it big. There is a "realness" to Madonna's concert. Estonia suddenly isn't a nobody from the middle of nowhere. Estonia is somebody, somebody important, somebody who hangs out with Madonna and the Japanese Royal Couple.
Estonia now really exists, according to this train of thought. That Finnair connection you took at Helsinki did not deliver you through a black hole to the fifth dimension. Estonia exists, and the Sticky & Sweet Tour is proof of its existence. It's no fluke. Estonia is a real country.
Sure, there's the in Soviet times factor too -- Madonna didn't make it to Tallinn during The Virgin Tour in '85. But, let's face it, most of Madonna's Estonian audience probably doesn't even remember the Soviet times. They have come to expect events like these. If Robert Plant could schedule a gig in Tallinn, surely Madonna Ciccone couldn't be far behind.
And so we wait for Madge and her cast of nubile dancers and her new 22-year old Brazilian boyfriend to arrive in Tallinn and bring the pages of Kroonika to life. Estonian mothers, lock up your teenage sons! The Sticky & Sweet Tour is nigh!